What YOU think is all that matters.

By PAULINA BEATRIZ

It’s really hard to not worry about what other people think of you; it’s what runs laps around everyone's mind and it slowly consumes them whole. Soon they lose themselves into a facade they show to fill up people’s expectations of them.

And that’s not right.

I don’t know why we let things that people say or do affect how we see ourselves. I don’t know why we change ourselves to fit in places we don’t belong in.

Everyone has their own opinions, we are all entitled to having our own perspectives. And you are entitled to not care about what they think.When it comes to your life, you can bet that other people don't know what they're talking about, and if someone wants to judge you, that's their bitter little problem. Not yours.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius

Here are reasons why it truly doesn’t matter:

The only person who needs to like you is… you.

You will be living the rest of your life with yourself, people come and go and it’s not a guarantee they’ll be in your life forever. You are the only person who has to live with you. We shouldn’t rely on what others have to say about us. You are enough. Focus on yourself and realize that these social norms that you have to comply to, in order to be well liked doesn’t matter; being independent and being yourself is what’s important.

No one truly knows your life.

Sure, your best friend might be your life sized diary but despite sharing your life; the judgement is still an outside perspective. The depths of your feelings are not exposed and they can’t pinpoint how happy a certain situation makes you feel- everything is solely based on judgement they can observe. We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives too; we can only ‘suppose’ one feels a certain way but we can never really tell the truth behind someone’s behaviour from watching them.

They don’t know what’s best for you.

Your parents are a different thing. We’re talking about other people in general who might not even have ties with you. Based on their schema and what they believe in, they’ll tell you what they think is best for you. But you have to remember that the only way to truly learn is to through making your own decisions, taking full responsibility for them, and that way if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blame-shifting it onto somebody else. You have to have your own choices and allow yourself to build and grow your character.

They will always find someone to talk about.

Over countless generations, people always found someone to talk about, ganging up on those who are perceived different or a threat to their status and existence.

Why do you torment others for no real purpose? Why do we cast out those who are different? What is it about human society that makes this something so ingrained into our lives?

They will always convey their opinions and cast out those who they feel are weak, misfits or simply don’t “fit in” with others because of they’re too fat, too skinny, too dark, too white, too religious, too fanatical, too smart, too dumb, or whatever have you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. People will always find someone to talk about.

Your self worth isn't determined by a rating

There’s no objective rating scale that allows another person to judge you. They don’t know your story, they don’t know what you’ve been through and what you did to get where you are in life now.

However, despite being aware of this we still tend to define our self worth based on the approval rating. We allow what others feel and think about us influence what we feel about ourselves. We help to spread the conflagration of negativity when people know that it’s affecting us. They know that pressing that button is going to hurt. So they keep pressing it and pressing it. Don’t allow it to upset you. Don’t allow it to phase you. Forget what they think. Seriously, forget it. It’s not worth your time.

You can’t please everybody.

The cold hard truth. It is impossible to satisfy all people’s expectations. Some people just don’t like you or will find a way to not like you. Not everyone will agree with your choices and it’s understandable- everyone has their own perspective. You have your own perspective and you probably once in your life questioned why someone made such a decision. What’s important is that you are happy with your decision and your choice satisfies you because in the end it's you who’ll deal with the result.

Like the herd of lions swooping in for the kill, they prey on the weak, looking for those they can taunt and torment. And it gets to us. We allow other people’s opinions to not only hurt us, but oftentimes, to define us.

What people say about you does not matter. I cannot emphasize this enough.

Their opinions have no basis in defining who you are, it’s not the truth and you know that. We are told by countless peers that we must go in a certain direction but does it make you happy? Is that who you are? Is that what you want?

People always tell us what they think but those thoughts are not our own so why should we let it overcome our system when what really matters is what you think of yourself because you matter. You deserve to believe in yourself without the fear of being incompetent.

We are the only ones allowed to carve ourselves to being that we want to be.

Remember it’s; who YOU want to be not who THEY want you to be.